Keyboarding

As of tonight, I am the keyboardist for a youth worship band.

I was so tempted after playing for the first time to go up to Alan and J.Love and be like, "I can't do this anymore, I'm horrible at it," but I didn't.

Here's the deal. They didn't give me music for ANY of the songs until two hours before youth, when I showed up at church to practice. They're giving me chords so that I can start improvising. Basically, I only really learned "How Can I Keep From Singing" well enough to play and even then I messed up because my hands were sweating and shaky and I was nervous. Not to mention we hadn't seriously run through the songs as a group together, so not only could I not hear myself because the amps faced the youth, but I couldn't figure out when J.Love switched chords and when I was supposed to change over. Basically, we didn't practice well enough, and according to Ryan, we're supposed to actually have a practice sometime soon, just to learn how to get it together.

The good thing about being in the back and not being AS needed as, say, the drummer, is that you can turn your instrument way down and no one will notice, and if you get scared and stop playing you can just put your hands up and worship. Which is basically what I spent most of the time doing.

Naturally, as soon as I got done playing and went to sit down, a voice in my head told me that I suck even though everyone was saying I'd done great.

I dunno. I'm just going to start working really hard on actually improvising with chords, and making them sound good.