Didn't want you to see me cry.

I guess it's time to be honest, since no one reads this anyway.

These last two weeks, I have wanted nothing more than to fall apart. I feel like the people in the Old Testament who loved God but lost sight or deliberately pulled away. It's like I want to be miserable, because I want to relapse more than anything right now. I know I said I wouldn't whine. I'm kicking myself mentally right now. But I think I may as well just let it all out. This is a blog after all.

My classes got all messed up last week and I spent most of Monday morning (June 7th) fixing them. My Geology class isn't bad but can be overwhelming, as can my online History class. I guess that's all okay.

All I'm tired of is being lonely. I'm not living for God like I should and as an end result I'm here, wanting to hurt myself, being lonely, and hating everything. Complete overhaul needed.