God is Indescribable

So tonight was awesome. For anyone who is just reading this like "Whaaaa?" I went to a mission trip benefit concert that my youth pastor's band played in, and...wow. Have I mentioned I have never seen so many people in Waco so fired up for God? I've also never had God bearing down on me basically urging me to be on my face. Well, I have, but I've never complied. WOW.

So I have to confess. I have what I call "Worship ADD". I start to really worship, and the enemy knocks my concentration completely out so that I'm struggling to focus on God. This has been going on for awhile now, and I think because of it, I've forgotten what God's presence is like. Actually, I'm starting to think that I've never really felt God's COMPLETE, ENTIRE presence before. As soon as we started to worship, I felt this weight and heaviness all over me, and it was part of what bore me down to the ground, and it pushed me over to people to pray with them, and I don't think I've ever sang out during worship before. I never felt the presence of the Spirit the way I did tonight, if I ever did at all. God was using the Spirit to work in all of us that were there. Brittni was praying out in tongues, and I don't think she was the only one. Everyone there was singing out or crying out during prayer and during the music, and most of us were on the floor. Brittni said she felt the same heaviness I did, and I bet we weren't the only two. If I didn't know what the Spirit was before, I do now.

They will remember we were here. Because we are going to go out into the world and tell them what our God has done and who He is and how beyond-words amazing He is. Jesus is the Kingdom and the only One who deserves glory. I can't remember what exact Psalm this was, but: "I lift my eyes unto the hills, where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth." My friends and I will remain in awe of God and on fire.

Amen.

Want to give You everything...

It's been a month since I've used this thing, and I think it's because I felt like I had nothing to write. Sheesh, how wrong was I...

Life has been interesting, to say in the least. I started my Psychology class, and despite some of the boring reading, I really do like it. We started official indoor drumline rehearsals too...we're doing AMAZING for it being so early on. Usually at this time of year we suck, but we have really gifted Band members this year, praise God! Jennifer is doing really well with the bass drummers, Courtney and Bethany have finished all of their music, Amanda is almost done, and I just have to clean up a few of my technical solos. The vibe players all have just a little work left, and the snares and Alexa are almost finished as well. Apparently the marching is going really well too :) To say I'm not excited this year would be a lie. I'm ecstatic for drumline, it's the best part of Band...because it's all the people who actually care :)

I am officially NOT going to England, and I'm actually extremely relieved. I thought I'd be so disappointed, but I'm happy, because all this trip was doing was putting stress on my back.

The whole "recovery" resolution has been really difficult lately. I've been forgetting how GOOD my God is. I've been going through the motions, and not growing at all. But you know, it isn't about me. Or whoever is reading this. Or anyone else. Nothing is about us. It's all about God. I've been caring too much what people think, but I should be more concerned with what He thinks of what I do and what I say. I need to shut my mouth and let Him do the talking...well, actually, open my mouth probably, but I shouldn't talk...I dunno, I hope you get what I'm saying, 'cause I just confused myself :P

So I started reading Genesis from the beginning of Noah's story (before the ark) about to when God created different languages last night. I love reading the Bible just to read it. It's fascinating.

Anyway...so we got the refund for England. Once Mom sorted out the sponsorship money that everyone had given me, she handed me back the $75 that I made, and so I counted it up with my Christmas money and any change I had (which Mom exchanged for $10, because she and Dad wanted all my non-eagle quarters, they collect them), and I have a grand total of around $150. I've never had so much money within reach in my life. I've contemplated keeping really good track of it until Mom starts my savings account...but there's this small part of me that's whispering "Give it to ministry." So I'm actually considering doing that. I can wait until I get a job to really start saving. And as for the Skillet concert I was going to get tickets for in the summer (okay, I admit, Six Flags), well, there will be other concerts. But missions and ministry need money right now. If not those things, then it needs to go to a cause. TWLOHA or Love146, or Invisible Children. Because God is working in them, and they need the money, even if it's just a small contribution like mine. So I'm going to pray about that.

If you have any prayer requests, text me.

God Bless.